What ladies do not want to hear on a date
By McKenzie Collins
Think before you speak, boys. This one's important.
Warning: I may be about to stigmatize the whole male species when I say this - but guys are notorious for saying the wrong thing. Too often, they don’t think before they speak and whatever comes out is far from what a female is delighted to hear. Particularly in a pressurized situation, they don’t always realize the weight of their words.
Indeed, the upset comes not solely at the fault of males. The truth is, ladies look into each and every sentence which comes out of a guy’s mouth way too much too. The problem, yes, is that guys don’t always think. But a girls’ issue is her inability to remember this fact. She ought not to look into the meaning of something he hasn’t even fathomed in his own brain.
Regardless of whether it is a joint issue - and it is - when a guy asks a girl out, it is quite truthfully his obligation to impress her. If he simply blames her perception of everything he says as inaccurate, it’s not likely he’s going to wind up on a second date. So guys, listen up. I’m about to tell you where you’re going wrong. The following is some advice on what not to say to a girl on a first date.
First things first, never ask her whether the date location you chose was okay. The fact you put effort and thought into choosing is enough to her. It’s impressive. If she doesn’t like it, she’s not going to judge you for it - at least, not entirely. She’ll understand that you don’t know her yet. It’s impossible that you’ll make her preferred choice of food or activity. Asking her whether your choice was okay only makes you seem pathetic. Already, you’re coming across undesirable because you rely too much on her opinion and decision-making for confidence. You’ve lost your charm and suave in one sentence. A lot of strong women love when a guy has the audacity to take the ropes, even if only for a little while. Remain bold in doing so.
For the same reason, admitting your nervous is not going to win you any points. If you want to whisk a girl off her feet, this doesn’t begin with you being a shaking mess. Even if you are nervous, at least act like you know what you’re doing. In the initial stages of dating, there has to be an element of mystery. Don’t throw all your feelings on the table and admit that you really care about where this goes. Play it cool. Don’t act careless - this isn’t attractive either. But don’t seem overly attached on day one. A girl likes to win a guy over too, especially one who appears somewhat hard to get.
Don’t, don’t, don’t rely on movies as your source of romantic lines. Telling someone they actually look as pretty as the stars - especially when it comes out of nowhere - can be way too much too soon. Say what you actually feel. If you love something about their outfit, admit it. If you think they’re cute, say it. But don’t say anything that wouldn’t otherwise come naturally. Chances are if you know the line, the girl has seen it in The Notebook too. It’s going to mean nothing to her that you’re merely whipping out Ryan Gosling’s best pick-up lines.
Further on this, if you’re going to compliment, be confident and say exactly what you’re thinking. Don’t be vague. It’ll only appear as if you don’t know what to say and you feel awkward - so you’re filling the gaps with a compliment. Again, it’ll prove meaningless. Saying “she looks nice” will go right over her head. Be specific. Blow her away with something that isn’t necessarily surface level; something that instead requires a longer look at her, or a more in-depth conversation. She’ll appreciate it much more if she can tell it’s coming from your heart.
If things are going well, don’t muck it up with a line like “you’re too pretty to be single. How do you not have a boyfriend?” This will only make her embarrassed for her lack of relationship status. If she’s feminist, you’ll only evoke her rant on how she doesn’t have to be in a relationship to prove her worth. If she’s at all like any girl in the world, she’ll look too far into your comment. She’ll start to think there’s something else about her that turns people away and consider that maybe you’re trying to find out what it is. Play it safe and don’t refer to her past relationships or previous status. What’s important is that you’re on a date with her now. Make the most of this circumstance.
Of all, it’s okay to let conversation flow and say what you feel and think at the time. After all, you don’t want your entire thought flow nor interaction to be cultivated. If you have a connection, that will become apparent. Nonetheless, girls are sensitive human beings and they’re good listeners too. This means that if you say something that could be perceived in a horrible or judgemental way, they’ll probably take it in such a way. They may not know you well enough to see it otherwise.
Make a girl feel comfortable, be comfortable and confident yourself, and only compliment if it feels right. Honesty is the best policy - so long as, of course, you keep to yourself that your heart is pounding 300 times a minute. It’s way less adorable than in the movies.